Since I became girlfriendless last week, I was freakin' miserable! No worries, though. I'm back on target with a new hot chick.
I told you how my school did away with its 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy on vampires ... It was the only smart thing my phony priciple did all year. Anyway, some stupid new club claiming to be Vampire Slayers are all bent out of shape about it. I think they've watched too many episodes of that lame-o ancient show 'Buffy the Vampire' - another show blatently putting lies out there.
Those Vampire Slaying Dorks were holding a pointless rally at school with all kinds of stupid slogans, like 'Stamp the Vamps', 'Vampires are Liars', and 'Drink the Blood, Fall in Mud'. OK, I'll admit the last one is a bit catchy, even if it doesn't make a lick of sense.
So I went to confront their leader because I AM a vampire and all. But then I suddenly realized why they call themselves Vampire Slayers. The head chick looks just like Sarah Michelle Gellar (on a side note - how annoying is it when people feel the need to use all three names?). They even called her Buffy.
My point is, she's totally hot!! I changed my plans and decided to join their cause to try and work my way in with her. And don't you go calling me a phony! A vampire has to have priorities.
I just needed a to conceal my teeth so they wouldn't give me away, so I stuffed marshmellows over my fangs and told them I was practicing my Godfather impression. Those suckers bought it hook, line and sinker! I even came up with my own slogan.
Read my blog from the beginning, you phony!