What a freekin' week!! I was actually starting to feel good for once, so I stopped by Starbucks one morning to get myself a Frappachin-O-Positive (my fav -- way better than the Moch-A-Negative).
I didn't have time to drink it before school, so I had to smuggle it into class, and the first second my teacher turned her back to write on the board, I downed it.
HUGE FREEKIN' MISTAKE!
First I got the mother of all brain freezes. Seriously -- it felt like someone blasted ice up my nose. But that wasn't the worst of it. I forgot about the cavities in both my fangs and when the brain freeze went away, the cold blood hitting my teeth made it feel like I was one of those lamo pinatas where the little kids pull the strings. Only those strings were the nerves in my freekin' teeth! It totally sucked ... I mean what's the point in being dead if you can still feel pain, anyway?
After school, I headed straight for the dentist, except my phony idiotic doctor refused to help me because he said my HMO doesn't cover vampires. Can you believe it?
I told Growley (my werewolf buddy ... and in hind sight the first clue that it was a mistake) about my problem, and like a true bro he came through for me. Rushed me right over to his guy.
That might have been OK, except that IDIOT werewolf failed to mention his guy was a freekin' veterinarian! Yeah, he was able to get my teeth out, but do you have any idea how humiliating that was?
They put me under for the procedure, so it wasn't so bad. But when I woke up, I had one of those stupid cone things on, those things they put on dogs heads to keep them from biting at wounds. It made absolutely no freekin' sense. First of all, I'm a human (well OK, a 'Vampire') so I'm not exactly going to be biting myself. And second, the operation happened in my mouth, WHERE I COULD STILL BITE AT IT EVEN IF I WANTED TO?
But Growley insisted that this was the doctor's orders, so what could I do?