Friday, June 24, 2011


This is totally insane!! I found out this week that I can talk to snakes.

I took Hermy on a second date to the city zoo. It was the perfect place because, A) I figured I could take her through all the scary animals which would freak her out and make her want to stay real close to me and B) I've been feeling a little weak lately, so I wanted to scope out the Lion's cage for another late night Lion's Blood run with Garth.

Anyway, I was waiting in line in the reptile area when my "Winning" scar (you know - the one that Moron Who Has No Name gave me) started burning real bad. Then I looked over at a cage and realized a snake was talking to me. I know your thinking I've gone off the deep end, but WHATEVER - I'm telling you the truth. I tried to talk back but I couldn't quite get the sounds down.

When I told Gandork about my new power, he told me 'the Dummy Who Has No Name' can also talk to snakes. Says I'm called a 'Parsley Mouth' (I think). Pretty odd name for it if you ask me, but it gave me an idea. I took Hermy back to the zoo so that I could try talking to the snake again. But this time I shoved a bunch of parsley in my mouth so that I could make the right sounds. And it actually worked!! As a bonus, I'm thinking it really turned Hermy on to me also!

It's kind of cool that I have this power, but really - what the heck am I ever going to freakin' use it for?

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