Well, 'Bite Club' is done. Fake Brad Pitt started getting really wacked out. He called a special meeting to make soap with all of the members and they all got really into it. How lame is that! So me and Growley kicked everyone out of the house and told them the club was over. Those losers didn't even care - they ran off and formed 'Soap Club'. LOSER PHONIES!
At first I was buggin' out because my plan was use Bite Club to fight 'The Loser Who Has No Name', but then I remembered that I have Lion's Blood. Think about it - I'm a Vampire with Lion's Blood. I'M IN-FREEKIN' DESTRUCTIBLE!!
I am kind of stoked about one thing. Fake Brad Pitt's girlfriend finally got sick of pretending she was
Angelina Jolie and broke up with him. I guess it turns out he had a right to be jealous because the first thing she did was ask me out. Can you believe it - a hot babe like that! With me! I mean ... yeah, I think I'll give the poor girl a shot.
The only problem is I can't pronounce her name. It's spelled H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E. I've got no clue ... so I just call her 'Hermy' which works because hot chicks are all into being called cute nick names. I'm still a little unsure about this girl, though, because she is really smart and has a kind of know-it-all attitude. But I'm willing to overlook that to have a hot babe by my side.
Now that I'm back to school, I get to talk to Gandork again. (You know him - the crazy old man who thinks he's a wizard.) Anyway, I was waiting for him in his office one day and noticed there was a big bowl of some wierd clay on his desk. I was bored so I started to sculpt a volcano with it. It looked pretty good, actually.
When he walked in I was eager to tell him about my new Lion's blood, but that old phony geezer shushed me. He was holding his pretend wand up to his head and really concentrating hard. I saw in a movie once that wizards can pull memories from their heads and then put them in a bowl to watch them. (Hey - I didn't make it up.) I figured that's what he was up to.
<gag> MAN WAS I WRONG! <gag> He used the stupid freekin' bowl alright, but not exactly for what I thought. Turns out it wasn't memories he was extracting from his head; just GINORMOUS HUNKS OF WAX that he was digging out of his ear. <gag>
Just thinking about that hot - sticky ... UGHHH - gotta go .... gonna puke again ....
"Life <gag> Sucks"
Read from the beginning.