I'm so freekin' bored! I've been stuck in this stupid house listening to Garth sing all week since being suspended from my phony school. American Idol is coming around for their usual open auditions soon and that idiot has the idea in his head that he has a shot. Probably because I told him he has great natural talent and that he would blow the judges away.
OK, so between me and you, a shrieking bird sounds better than him. But trust me, it'll be a wicked good laugh for all of us when they air it on TV. Now he's walking around all proud and full of himself, like some kind of Vampire Diva. Hey - I had to do something to keep from going insane with boredom.
Mom is so pissed at me, she won't even speak to me for the blood-spilling Shakespeare incident. I tried to explain that it was all Growley's doing, but she was not buying it. Growley got it even worse from his mom. She made him stay in their dog's outside kennel all week. And in fact, he's all scratched up now, because he tried to steel the dog's bone one night during one of his "sleep walking episodes". What can I say - best friends are hard to come by!
Actually, speaking of the Play, I should thank you readers, because one of you made a good point in the comments section by explaining that all Shakespeare Plays end in tragedy. Well, I read between the lines and realized that what you were really saying was that me and Growley made the Play even better by creating a whole new tragic ending. Now it's only a matter of time before Veronica understands that and comes running into my arms.
'C' called me today. (that's Santa Clause - we're pretty tight now) I thought he would have cooled off with his busy time of year over and all, but I was wrong. Sounds like his elves are busting his chops pretty good. When he was working Christmas Eve, a bunch of them got drunk on spiked eggnog and decorated his whole house with Lady Gaga posters and statues. 'C' got even with them, though. He weeded out the guilty elves and put them on reindeer poop cleanup all year. Anyway, he's sending me to one of Gaga's concerts in a couple of weeks to get some dirt on her. Just more punishment as far as I'm concerned.
Actually there was one good thing that came out of this week. Since Growley's been banned to his dog's kennel all week, he's been hanging around here a lot. One night, at around two o'clock in the morning we decided to make a slushy run to the local 7-11. Halfway there we started arguing over who's fault the blood spill really was. Next think I know, that wacko bites me on the arm. So I did the obvious thing and bit him back. And just quit your judging, right now! Yeah, it may sound a little unusual, but remember - it's instinct for us so don't go spreading rumors that we're weird or something.